Does it seem like everyone in jiu jitsu class knows more than what you do?
Does it feel like everyone is getting better than you? And showing up more frequently than you? And getting more submissions than you?
And does it feel like YOU are doing, feeling, or thinking something just a little bit… different? Stupid? Embarassing?
Like maybe last week you just kinda showed up, went through the motions of the class, without really giving it your all? Maybe you were felt a little tired and rolled lazy. Perhaps you got submitted more than you would have liked.
Or worse. Maybe you skipped training altogether and watched Narcos instead.. With a bowl of popcorn.
Do you feel like you let yourself and your team down when you don’t always make the right decisions with jiu jitsu?
Or maybe you have something that’s a ‘secret’ because you think it sounds silly or out of your reach.
Perhaps you want to lose 10kg by the end of the year. You think you deserve a new belt in the next grading, or you want to win the next local competition.
You’re not alone. Everyone else in the same boat.
The Problem With Secrets
Secrets are naggy. They keep gnawing and nibbling on your soul.
Secrets make us feel alone. Isolated.
In jiu jitsu, secrets hurt your progress because they can actually push you to make worse choices.
- If you feel bad about missing a class, the resulting guilt and shame may cause you to make even more worse choices.
- If you’re struggling with a particular position and don’t want to ask for help you won’t know how to do it better the next time.
- When you always worry about making a mistake or letting the team down all your energy goes to rigid self-control – and when that hatch blows, watch out!
- If you have a ‘foolish’ or ‘unrealistic’ dream – say, being a black belt – and constantly focus on why you shouldn’t or can’t try to go for it, then you probably won’t even get close. You might not even attempt a local comp because why bother?
Let them Out
Higher Jiu Jitsu is a path you walk for life. It’s a practice. It’s a process. It’s a way to self knowledge.
You want your path to be clear and smooth. So be free of the heavy burden of secrets. Come out of the jiu jitsu closet.
Tell your truth. Get real with yourself.
Whatever it is, it’s not so bad.
Once the secret is out, you’ll feel so much better. You’re human. You’re a work in progress. Just like everyone else.
1. Remember you’re normal
There are thousands of jiu jitsu practitioners just like you, in a similar position to yours. Stories like imposter syndrome are a regular part of life. You’re not weird. And you can improve on your thinking, just like everything else.
2. If you have something to confess, tell the truth.
Seek help from your friends. Confide in your close training partners within the dojo. Often you’ll find that once the secrets are out, they feel a lot less significant.
This is what the Higher Community is for. We’ve been working hard to build a platform of like minded people who enjoy jiu jitsu and look to build quality of life.
In the Community, you can chat about things like this, and others can feel your pain, and provide support.
3. Take a big, deep sigh of relief.
Life is good. Some people are simply unable to train jiu jitsu. You can. Be grateful, and enjoy every step of the journey.
For a free trial class of Higher Jiu Jitsu, click here.